


That Which Binds

by lavvyan



Category: Merlin (BBC)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Character Death, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 15:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavvyan/pseuds/lavvyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>The night Morgana bears Arthur a son, an heir he was never supposed to have, Merlin breaks his self-imposed solitude and visits the Dragon for a chat. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	That Which Binds

The thing that Merlin had forgotten, at ease and comfortable in Camelot, is that he doesn't need words to call upon his magic. He doesn't need Gaius's book of spells, or Edwin's runes, or Tauren's magic stone. He doesn't need to drown himself in vengeance and the Old Religion, like poor Nimueh. Magic is woven into him like threads in a tapestry. He _is_ magic.

He's always known that he was different. But the knowledge that rests within him now goes further, clean and sharp like the lightning Merlin had called from the sky.

It hadn't been Nimueh's destiny to die at his hand, on this isle. And if her destiny could be broken… so could anyone's.

Merlin laughs up into the rain that plasters his hair to his skull, his clothes to his body. He feels giddy, terrified, more than a little crazy with the realisation that whatever has been binding him to Arthur, Arthur to him, is not as irrevocable as he'd believed. As he'd been cheated into believing. He laughs and laughs, possibilities unfolding before him like spring flowers that had only been waiting for the first droplets of warmth. And far away, in the deepest caves beneath Camelot itself, the Dragon stirs.

Afraid.

Of him.

~~~

He remains Arthur's servant, just as he'd promised. He stops being his friend, and that's hard; possibly the hardest thing Merlin has ever done, ever will do. But the path lies before him now, so clear he can't believe he never saw it before, and he'll walk it.

To the end he himself will create, he'll walk it.

~~~

Gaius dies and Merlin becomes Court Physician. Uther dies and Arthur becomes King. That's not destiny, that's mortal succession. Morgana becomes Queen, and that's not destiny, either. That's Arthur's loneliness nudged in the right direction.

Morgana sometimes stares at Merlin, wide-eyed and quiet, as if she isn't sure what she's seeing. Then he smiles at her, a secret promise to keep her safe and sane, and she relaxes.

She hasn't been dreaming in a while.

~~~

Magic is still outlawed in Camelot. That's an accomplishment Merlin's quite proud of. Arthur is a fair-minded king, and the remaining walls of their friendship crumble under Merlin's insistence that Uther's laws must be upheld if Arthur doesn't want to be a laughingstock. Only the very groundwork remains, and Merlin allows himself the luxury of regret.

He still makes sure to hate magic quite openly. Those who care about these things should know whom to hate in return.

~~~

Lancelot becomes First Knight. He and Gwen have a baby daughter not ten months after his return to Camelot. They look very happy.

It's one of the few things that can make Merlin smile these days.

~~~

The night Morgana bears Arthur a son, an heir he was never supposed to have, Merlin breaks his self-imposed solitude and visits the Dragon for a chat.

The need to gloat is greater than any hostility.

~~~

They spend years like that. Merlin never allows his meddling with destiny to carry him from Arthur's side. Sometimes, they even laugh together. If every once in a while he catches an echo of his own wistfulness in Arthur's gaze, he smiles and bows before his Queen.

~~~

The Dragon dies on a sunny afternoon. Not that it would know, locked away from sunlight as it is. With its last breath, it calls Merlin drunk on his own power. Merlin can't disagree, so he says nothing, just watches it slip from its rock and vanish into the depths below, falling as far as its chain will allow.

Perhaps he has used his magic for ill more than good. The druids in particular have every reason to curse his name. But the path is almost set now, and Merlin can see its end.

He can see everything.

~~~

Morgana bears Arthur a daughter, then another son. She looks… content, these days, and that's another destiny Merlin's happy to have broken into pieces. Most of the time, that is.

Arthur looks straight at Merlin when he names his second son Emrys. His gaze is tired and bitter, and for a moment, it takes all of Merlin's will to keep breathing.

For a moment, it takes all of his will not to cry over his own destiny, torn and discarded more than a decade ago.

~~~

Mordred comes. Of course he comes; growing up in hatred has always been his destiny, just as it always was his destiny to rally against what he hates. Merlin knows because Merlin saw, and he only broke a tiny piece of this, just enough to create a new path for both of them.

It isn't Arthur Mordred's coming for.

~~~

Merlin dies to protect Arthur. It's not the destiny that was meant for him but the one he created for himself.

He takes Arthur's place, like he asked, years ago, on a windy shore.

~~~

Arthur's voice shakes as he calls him an idiot, something he hasn't done for years. Arthur refuses to let go, holding him like they're still friends. Like they're still linked.

Merlin dies with a smile.


End file.
